Pastor Rick Warren says today,

 "NEVER follow a pastor who belittles other’s success,doubts other's motives,or criticizes other's efforts 4 Christ. (Rom.14:4) Who are you who judge another's servant?"

Allow me to say Amen! and say it, a different way, "If your preacher puts other churches down, critisizes other ministries, speculates why others do what they do for Christ or are critical of what other pastors, churches or christians are doing for Jesus; RUN! GET OUT OF THAT CHURCH! GET AWAY!"

I served nearly 20 years under such a a pastor; I was abused spiritually, emotionally and financially. Until God opened my eyes, I didn't see all of the spiritual abuse that was the security blanket wrapped around and interwoven throughout that church. Deception breeds deception; a little "Right" can help us overlook so much that is "Wrong".

Here are TEN SIGNS of Spiritual Abuse that we should see, The Leader;

1. “Hears” God for you. God apparently “goes through” him/her to speak to you. (This requires a sense of superiority – from him or her and is often framed as being “more mature,” and a sense of being “less” from you.)

2. Alienates (shuns, ignores) you if you do not adhere to his/her guidance, leadership, or authority. (This is usually VERY subtle – so it is easy to deny.)

3. Suggests that rejection of his/her “higher understanding” is done so at your spiritual or even physical peril. (You will hear things like, “Be careful. You will move yourself from the covering and protection of God.”)

4. Rewards your obedience with inclusion, and punishes your questioning or resistance with withdrawal. (Compliance gets stroked, resistance gets struck!)

5. Demands “cathartic” honesty. Unless you spew out every detail of your life you must be hiding or withholding something (and that “something” will, of course, impede your spiritual development).

6. Lavishes you with praise, acceptance, and understanding when you are “good” and “pushes” you away when you are “bad.”

7. Is apparently fixated on the use of titles like reverend, pastor, elder and cannot appear to relax in the company of “ordinary” mortals. The issue is not in the use of legitimate titles (or robes or religious garb) – it is that identity seems impossible without the titles or the trappings.

8. Leaves a trail of cut-off relationships. Usually in the trail are those who refuse to bow, to submit, to stand in awe of, to be thoroughly entranced by, the will of the pastor, the leader or the friend. Always regard with suspicion or caution leaders who are cut off or alienated from members of their family, especially their parents.

9. Lives from a “for me/or against me,” “black/white,” “all/or nothing” platform of “relationships.”

10. Genuinely sees God’s Call so zealously, so fervently that any signs of resistance are seen as the expressions of The Enemy or an enemy – thus, relationships are expedient (disposable) in the light of getting on with God’s work.

Such leaders are broken, as we all are, but lead (many sincerely) out of their insecurity - The Abused often become Abusers. The greatest gift of God is His mighty love and His unconditional love should be evident in the life of those who lead for Him. Amen!